JULIAN BAMFORD
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My Blog - Words of the Heart
My Blog - Words of the Heart
Blog
How's it all going...
| Posted on 22 February, 2017 at 21:16 |
In the
week-to-week world of funerals, as a celebrant working with and alongside conductors,
arrangers and many others, we each play an important role in all
that comes and goes with each service, and the natural sadness
and joys remembered, with the passing of someone loved. My dad is eighty-seven now and keeps an eye on
the Tribute pages in the daily paper, and awhile back told me that from time to time he sees an old
friend's name among the memorials. He often asks with that kind knowing look.…'how’s it all going?' I’ve come to see over these near seven years, a
pride in his eyes, having a son who works as a Funeral Celebrant.  Likely for most of us in this ‘profession of
end of life’ it was not generally a career, which we ran from school
shouting I’m going to be a Celebrant, a Funeral Conductor, a
Mortician. It is however, on
being a part of it, a most special, respected and unique responsibility to help so many
people in this vital way. It seems for those with far more years gone
than left to come, age and experience rings a vastly different take on the
value of things we do, the importance we place on them, and how valuable
others see it and us..! 'Yes, it’s steady...' I add, recalling years back when asked by a friend what work I do, and on explaining, he smiled in a very real, practical and warm hearted way saying 'very good, their will always be more to do' At a service a few months back at Bunurong Memorial
Park, where 150 or so family and friends of the deceased gathered – for a
Scotsman from Glasgow. The piper
played 'Will Ye No Come Back Again' and like in so many services, the
idea and reality spoken, that amid all the things we experience and see,
create, do and share, the conditions and situations we find ourselves, life is
ever changing... ‘...What has been gathered will be dispersed, what has been
accumulated will be exhausted, what has been built up will collapse, and what
is born will one day die’. Buddha What is it then we each do, we each bring to
our work, warmly welcomed, seemingly mundane, yet deeply cherished, so vital
to the doing of this unique job and important livelihood of ours.
When that voice on the phone, you as Conductor
or Arranger asks the Celebrant ‘Would you be available
next such and such a day and date?  We call the family and make contact, that
vital connection of human warmth. So begin the days - leading
up to those hours - when things stop for a brief time – and in the calm
quiet, those gathered from near and far, with tears and smiles from a
thousand different places – they say their personal and public thank you's and
farewell. Right there in our warm smile and readiness to
step up, in our unique ways, presence and style, we too gently ask ‘how’s it all going…?’ And there in those moments the hints and hallmarks of our talent
and compassion come forward. Our professionalism, friendliness, practicality
to bring it all together – from order of service to graveside committal
- the readiness to listen and learn, our cultural adaptability to tune
in to the nuances of human nature, life stories, amid bare emotions and the inherent
wish for happiness and freedom from suffering which we all have at heart.
In the very first funeral service I did in 2010 as a Professional Celebrant, which was at Le Pine Funerals Croydon, on meeting the family in the days before, the
teenage children asked me to read their dad's favourite poem. I'm not sure if he wrote it or someone else, but
it was special to them, because it was special to their dad. The sentiments
and aspirations are a gift for us all. ‘There is really nothing you must be, except yourself. There is nothing you must do, except be yourself. There is really nothing you must
have, except yourself. There is really nothing you must
know, except yourself. There is really nothing you must
become, except yourself.’  Of we the people and colleagues who work here, conductors, arrangers,
drivers and attendants, celebrants, printers & graphic artists, caterers
and the tea lady’s, florists and pipers, musicians and performers, AV specialists,
and many more… Together we bring all sorts of experience, sensitivity, kindness and compassion to help make that unfamiliar occasion - just that little
less sad, somehow more bearable, more real. And over cups of tea and sandwiches, and
handwritten notes in days and weeks to follow… ‘You did him proud’ ... 'she would have approved’ ….
‘You fitted the family mould
beautifully’ … ‘thank
you so much' To each conductor who have chosen me to work
with their families and clients, thank you for every one of those precious
gifts, and opportunities to serve again and again. Looking forward to the next time conditions entrust me to work with you. That's about it for now ... Best wishes,
of health, harmony and happiness, to you and your family for
2017. With kind wishes always.  Julian Bamford Funeral Celebrant & Master of Ceremonies |
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